Beginning of ‘Through My Eyes’
Hope you all have read my small introduction on Home Page. Now it’s time to reflect, deep dive, and share our life experiences. So, here you go, with my first blog!
I believe the closest part or say the closest memory we hold with ourselves is of our school days. I got enrolled in a kinder garden school when I was 3 years old. Of course, those days are a blur in my head now but I still can’t stop myself from being nostalgic while remembering those ‘good old days.’
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My school days were all fun! Though I was a shy and nervous student who had this impulse to constantly be in the above-average category, I made some amazing friends then, who are still my best friends and will always be. To put it in one line, my school journey was like any other person’s journey – I had my ups and downs but yes with family and friends by my side, I was able to keep up all the while.
Then came the graduation days – it’s back from 2013-16- I know I am rolling back the wheels but hello, there’s a lot to catch up on.
How were your graduation days?
Do you all remember your grad days? Well, I had this high ‘josh’ and intricate urge to prove myself in the city of dreams Mumbai, precisely to my new college – Jai Hind. Remember, we used to get some days break between the 12th board result and the new session in a college? Yes, in that period I remember training myself to be open and to be less shy; to be confident and a little less nervous.
I came to Mumbai in 2013 with my sister and stayed with our relatives. My sister and I daily used to go out to find a house after our college. Since, in a city like Mumbai, it’s not polite to stay at a relative’s place for a long time, no matter how sweet and caring they are, we left their house in a month even before we got a permanent stay. We all know it’s a task to find a place in Mumbai, so considering the situation, we decided to stay in a chawl.
Irony right, from a nice comfy dreamy house in Bhopal to staying in a chawl to fulfill our ‘dreams’! I was so disheartened. I constantly kept asking why… but in all this, I learned one thing- everything comes with a price- and even if you are unwilling to pay, it will take that from you. The price I paid was to give away sound night sleeps, comfy bed, private toilets, and of course friends and family to give that assurance that it will all end soon. To add to all this, I used to travel in the general compartment every morning, and not kidding, always got hit by some zealous aunties.
Finally, the session started- saw new faces, heard new names, sensed different laughter, observed distinct smiles. It was hard for me to make new friends in this new college because I missed that warmth, recognizable smiles and laughter of my school friends. I missed my family who knew how introvert and shy I was and understood that meeting new people never came easy to me.
Here, in this batch, no one knew me. I was really worried that if I smiled in a different way, I’d be taken as a weird, arrogant person; if I talked less, I might be perceived as a person who has got this ‘attitude problem’. No one would really understand that this all is unintentional. But the catch here is, that this was all in my head. But then what else is more powerful than the thoughts you have in your mind.
These thoughts became stronger every day because the overall journey was a different and a difficult one.
I used to feel weird going to college (Jai Hind is a posh college, I mean it’s in south Mumbai :P) from such a place where everyone used to wear new dress and carry a new bag every day, and casually swayed their panache, I had this strong notion, that no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to fit in. And the question again haunted me- why am I paying the price? What for?
Lessons learned right!
On one unpleasant day, I remember that so vividly, someone finally asked me what’s with that smell that I carry with me? I was taken aback, because every day I used to stand in a queue to take bath, and made it a point to use aromatic body showers and put decent scents on me before going to college. I wanted to cry, shout, vent but instead, I smiled and walked away. However, it took me some days to sink in that comment and to realize that probably that smell was of hard work and unrealized dreams that we hear from our fathers and grandfathers. No? Maybe, the price finally paid off.
After that, for some reason I stopped feeling weird for staying in a chawl and travelling in a general compartment and getting hit/shouted at by aunties because bade bade shehro mei, choti choti baat hoti rehti hai :P. I learnt, that as long as I have food to eat, books to read and a sister/companion in uncomfortable situations, I was all good and really no one can really stop me for being who I am. There was no desire to fit-in anymore because there was no need to fit-in! I realized, it was important for me to leave that comfy bed and house because unless we move, we don’t reach anywhere. I was ready to make my own place and breathe, peacefully.
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Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost…
In all this, I don’t know when and how but I made some amazing friends there- We still are connected through some medium and always wish best for each other. After two months staying in a chawl, we got a new rented flat in Andheri East.
And not to brag, but I passed with an ‘O’ grade (which is the highest) and was recruited to KPMG from a campus selection. What did I learn in KPMG and how far was I able to go? Stay tuned for my next post.
However, leaving you all with one question- do you think personal growth contributes to your professional growth? By personal growth, I mean all the life lessons and no excel and PPT experiences :P.
Good, Anaha